When “ships” fall into the same boat….for conveniece sake

As I was paging through my old diaries I stumbled upon letters me and my friends wrote to each other. I loved reading them all again…. what a memory path. I believe our communication was best described through this form…..still we communicate….through words unspoken but written…..be it a letter, SMS or the ever so popular BBM.

It hit me, I have had the same friends since high school….there is absolutely nothing between us but space and time, nothing has changed, not our loyalty, not our trust not the love.

I love my friends all 5 of them. It takes nothing but pure GRACE and many BLESSINGS to be my friend….what I mean is you have to be by GOD to be by me….and that’s how I roll, I’m on MY FATHER’S side.

I don’t call people I know friends, the only person who forces me to call them my friends is FACEBOOK….apart from that, if you are reading this and you are my ‘friend’ you are most probably wondering if you fall within the 5……well this is sad but real…. I’m sure you can familiarize with the term “know who your true friends are”. Yes I know you, Yes I like you, Yes I chill with you and have loads of fun….I don’t know what to call you…but my friend you are not. A friend is someone I will do the above mentioned…..and who I will show myself to at my WORST and still will be besides me.

For me having a friend is as personal as having a pay cheque (bank check). When pay day comes you don’t go around flagging your slip showing everyone how much your bank balance says.

A term I disagree with is “best friend” what is that?? I would believe that since I’m your friend I give the best of me to you…..
I give the best ear (listen)
I give the best time (shopping, lunch, gatherings, parties, support)
I give the best sound (advice, communication)
I give the best love (unconditional)
I give the best spirit (loyalty, trust, happiness) etc
……..When I can and when I do GIVE, its my BEST because you deserve nothing less than that.

I have so many people who call me their friend…..or better they label themselves as my friend….hah!! I’m their friend because they need someone to off load on…and I’m that girl who gives that time and listen. I’m their friend when they want to party because their plan A or B or C didn’t materialize I’m their plan Z.

I’m so sorry please refrain from putting me in the same boat as your “ships” any other and every other relationship you have….don’t familiarize it with my name.

This boat I’m riding is not your ordinary boat its a Yacht…..its exclusive…..only people who are by GOD’S side ride it as many times as their hearts desire this is my fate and I accept it as it is…….”Friends”

(Image source: 3.bp.blogspot.com/-4SApsPe1….)

Burden…..undress me

Letting go of all heaviness requires smart thinking
Its not the burdens that are heavy but the coat we pocket them in…..
Have a coat that doesn’t have pockets
So when you feel hot its easy to take it off

Understand this……..MEN

Many women are growing bitter by the day…..all due to failed relationships especially the MOTHERS who are left raising the child/children on their own.

Instead of gaining a nation filled with extraordinary, fearless, women…we are gaining vindictive, abusive angry women…WHY??? Because of LOVE

I say love because, I was also raised by a single parent that being my mother and as much as I got all the LOVE you could possibly give a child….. I still struggle with the love thing and when I dig down to find the source of the problem I find that I do not know how to love a man the way a man should be loved.

Don’t get me wrong I love my man. An incredible guy who has put up with my ways and I admit I’m a handful. Apart from that, since I was raised by a single parent, I didn’t have the opportunity of seeing how a wife behaves…how a wife loves…..how a wife respects….in all honesty what
It means to be a wife.

And this is why so many of us who were raised by single parents struggle with love, we value INDEPENDENCE…..we never had fathers who kissed us goodnight, we have never had a male say I love you until it was for the wrong reasons, some and most of us were raised by single bitter women….which make us scared of this whole idea of love and giving our hearts fully. Most of our mothers were left while pregnant, some a short while after birthing.

What makes it worse is that the cycle is repeating itself….we get into relationships, we have kids, we break up……..This saddens me beyond feelings, words and any thoughts.

As a mother its important I give and show my child what love is, what it feels and looks like, but I can’t show him on my own…..I can definitely make him feel it, but I need help. Men do the things you need to do to be the men you need to be….Remember you may end up with a woman who wasn’t raised with/by both parents therefore she needs a lot of patience and a lot of learning and understanding….stand by her and let her reach her shine. LOVE is……patience.

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My first love ART

My love of art is defined by paintings
A painting tells a million tales.
Its in the eyes,
that color travels in many ways.
Its in the brush strokes,
that movements are directed.

Innocence of beauty upon layers of the skin, vulnerability of the eyes is whisked by the shyness of the soul, class of status defined by the richness of the fabrics sown into womanly drapes, loneliness captures no smile…..

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My eyes see the glory within

I often hear people say you should follow the fire in you!!! But fire burns…follow the GLORY IN YOU……feel it and live it.

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